Special words from our Forefather George Washington

Attorney General:Adolf "Furher" Hitler

With Special Sidekick:Girl from Friends

As the largest law firm in the Nation, the Department of Justice serves to punish all who don't agree with the moral standards set forth by Clinton (tm). We are a bureaucratic assembly of laywers, politicians, and criminals (I repeat myself) and are privately owned by the nation of Japan. We operate by enslaving our citizens with taxation. We hate all the mexicans that swim into our country and take our jobs. We censor our slaves and punish them severly for disobeying. We are greater than God. Anything and anyone different must be jailed.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU! WE ARE BIG BROTHER! HAIL YOUR NEW MASTER!

CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS TAKEN SO FAR

• 1st Amendment
• We have Freedom of Speech?
• 2nd Amendment
• We can bear Arms?
• 4th Amendment
• We have Privacy?
• 8th Amendment
• 100,000$ isn't excessive Bail?

Free speech in the land of the free? Arms in the home of the brave? Privacy in a state of wiretaps and government intrusion? Unreasonable searches? We are a little behind our 1984 deadline, but working slowly one amendment at a time. It is hard to trick hundreds of millions of people out of their freedoms, but we should be complete within a decade. Here is a list of some of our accomplishments.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

• NET CENSORSHIP!
• President Clinton's Speech on Affirmative Action - 7/19/95
• Violence Against Women Organization

EVIL WORKS OF THE ANTICHRIST

• Internet Declaration of Independence

MOST POPULAR SITES FROM USDOJ.GOV

TOP 10 REASONS FOR SUPPORTING THE COMMUNICATIONS DECENCY ACT

1. If you show disagreement you will be prosecuted.
2. Wait, I never liked [CENSORED]
3. New ideas are of the devil.
4. Dole said it would help the economy.
5. Who really needs to use words like fuck and shit.
6. You were tired of foreigners asking for pictures of your girlfriend.
7. You were moving to a free country anyways.
8. Because Gingrich said so.
9. Damn reds are behind it!
10. You can always get your porns right here!