Digital Underground - uXu - Underground eXperts United #uxu-103

### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # #### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## # ## #### ## ## #### # # ## ## ## #### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## # ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ###### ####### ####### [ Vampires Anno 90's ] [ By The GNN ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ "VAMPIRES ANNO 90'S" by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu Dr Mengele: (confused) Spectators: (confused) The woman: (confused) Call a doctor! Dr Mengele: (angry) I am a doctor, you idiot! (The boys from Brazil) We did everything we could to prevent Dracula from entering England. At first - when I told the news to the public - they thought I was yet another crazed madman. Dracula! - Today? Listen fellow, people said, Dracula is fiction. He does not exist - and if he did, he is dead as a doornail! But when I put all my cards on the table, it changed. I had proof enough to convince a skeleton, and the people of London are not stupid. They listen to facts. I had facts. They listened to me. It all began when August Balle from the museum of horror came to my office, pale as a blank paper. He explained to me that the major of Transylvania had called him up and said that Dracula had pulled the pole that was stuck in his chest away, and escaped from his castle. The major blamed the tourists who daily visited the castle. He claimed that they had destroyed the protection by scraping off pieces of the pole as souvenirs when the guards looked away. The major also wanted August to examine if anyone knew who "Killroy" was, since he had put his name all over the pole with a pen, and we all know that pens contain toxic fluids that destroys wood. I wondered why the major had called August Balle instead of Scotland Yard (i.e me, since I was a chief inspector at the yard) but it seemed like the major was not so well informed. He had found August in the yellow pages under "horror". So, now it was my problem. The public laughed at me, but when they saw pictures of Draculas' empty coffin together with some really messy pictures of his latest victims around the world they changed their minds and listened to me. Dracula was obviously very angry that he had failed to crush London the last time, and now he wanted revenge. We managed to trace him to the United States, but there he was gone. Bodies showed up everywhere, but not Dracula. He probably travelled in his dark coffin, and even though we ordered all police departments to look for it, no one ever saw it. Damn, we thought at the Yard, maybe Mr Dracula has gone modern and skipped the coffin. Maybe he drives a limousine with dark windows? We decided to leave the United States to its doom. We had to think about our own country first. Dracula was not interested in obliterating America, he wanted England, London. It was here that all available forces must be put. We could stop him. This was a threat to the human race, and the case got highest privilege at once. After I took command over the force, I immediately put all other crimes away. Dracula would have to travel all over the Atlantic to get to us. It was a long way, and he had to use some kind of coffin to survive. I ordered all custom personnel over England to examine all boxes that could fit a human. Drugs, weapons and shit almost choked us during the time, but Dracula had to be stopped. All airports and seaports were full of scared policemen, armed with crosses and large sticks. Customs personnel had to open thousands of boxes every day, since it was not certain that Dracula could be seen in X-ray. At the time, I had grown to a national hero. I appeared on television almost every day to calm the people down. I promised that no Dracula would ever enter the Queens country, we would get him no matter what the cost! A fool even dared to ask "So if he tries to swim? Or fly? He can transform into a bat you know! How will you stop him then?". "Listen carefully", I said, "Dracula still cannot stand sunlight. He must avoid it, and since it takes a very long time to travel to England from the United States, he must travel well protected. If he tries to leave the United States for another country he will be stopped - all customs over the Earth are prepared! He will not even try, since it is a great risk for him to travel through too many countries, now that we are getting closer to him for every human he kills! He is coming, and we will get him!" I looked right into the camera; "Once again!" A few days later I got a call from the New York PD. They informed me that Dracula was in town with no chances to escape. All roads were guarded and helicopters with attached cameras had surrounded the city. - He's getting weaker, the police man said. He know that he's trapped. The citizens are well prepared, no one leaves their homes at night and if a bat is seen - hell breaks loose. People are shooting at everything that's flying. We have crosses, sticks and holy water enough to fuck him up five million times! Don't worry, he will never get out of this city. Still, I felt that you could not trust the yankees, so I decided to continue guard the ways into the country until we were sure that Dracula was securely nailed to a pole. The same evening, I spoke to the nation for the last time on the six o'clock news. I said that everything soon would be over. What a mistake. The next day, I opened the morning paper and almost fell off the chair when I discovered that three people had died in central London during the night. Their bodies had been mutilated, emptied on every single drop of blood and a witness had seen the murderer turn into a bat and flown away after the brutal kill. He was here. The nightmare could begin. Thanks to my false promises that Dracula could not even pass the border, no one was prepared. No crosses had been manufactured or sold. No holy water was available. No garlic. Nothing. Oh dear, in less than a week, almost the whole London was deserted. Half of the population had escaped and the rest were living dead, prowling around at night and searching for prey. Myself, I decided to stay. I felt guilty, I had to seek the answers. It took more than a month before he found me. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw him stand by my bed, looking at me. His eyes were red and he had entered through the window, really classic. He spoke with a dark voice. - Well, well, well! Chief inspector himself! The man who tried to stop me! Me! Why did you even bother, no one can stop me from getting what I want. I wanted London. I got London. I wanted you. Now I have you. Any last words? - Yeah, I began, you must answer this question - otherwise I can't rest i peace! How on earth did you get to England without being discovered? I wanted the answer so bad. I would gladly spend the rest of my days flying around drinking blood, if he just answered. - You see, he said. I hate the sun, everybody know that. If I went by boat, I had to use my coffin and that would be impossible to do with your heavily guarded harbours. A coffin on a charter flight would not work either. Desperately, I even tried to bribe a dude who was i charge of the "anti-Dracula" campaign in the U.S but he preferred to live instead of money. He was wrong, but that wouldn't help me. I almost lost the battle in New York, you know, they really tried to get me! Then, I realized that I had been gone for a while. Things had changed in the world. People doesn't travel around on horses and wagons any more! So, I simply studied the new ways of travel, and hey! Dracula laughed loud and cruel. - I discovered Concorde! And the possibility to travel in less than three hours over the globe. So, I simply sold my coffin and bought a ticket to England! I left New York when it was night and when I we landed in London it was still night... I just loved it, going faster than the sun, that was on the other side of the globe during the flight! Dracula finished talking. He laughed once more, this time even more loud and cruel, before he finished what he had come for. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Underground eXperts United are always at your service! Check the INDEX file for a complete list of our boards! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ There's a strong aftertaste of hype.

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