Digital Underground - uXu - Underground eXperts United #uxu-269

### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### ####### [ Never Work With Amateurs ] [ By The GNN ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NEVER WORK WITH AMATEURS by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu "Trust me. I am a pro" (Amateur X) When you want something done properly, be sure that you strictly stick to experienced people who got what it takes to do whatever you want to do. Never, ever, work with amateurs. Sure, it is fun to impress newbies with the cool parts of your trade - but in the long run it will turn against you. Big time. Let me offer you six short reasons: 1) Amateurs nowadays seem to believe that they know everything there is to know about anything. This plebs rule, revolt of the masses, will completely ruin all plans for the modus operandi, because the fool you expected to shut up and just do whatever he was told to do will suddenly begin to explain how things ought to be done. Even worse, he will not stop bitching until you offer him to change a detail that will suit him. That detail will, naturally, destroy the whole operation and send you and the fool to the monkey house. 2) Amateurs will never do what you have told them to do. Tell him to stay put and shut up, and you will find him ten seconds later behind you moaning about how cold it is outside and that 'You will never succeed with this' / 'We will never succeed with this' / 'Do like this instead <worthless information follows>' / 'I would use a rake if I were you' / 'Quiet! Listen! I think I heard something! Silent! Was that a car? Be still! I am sure I heard something!' / '<Boring boasting about some ridiculous deal he did in 1986>' / 'I wanna go home now' ... and so on. 3) Common sense says that the celebrating is due to afterwards. Unfortunately, it comes as no surprise that the one who is completely drunk or stoned _before_ the operation will be the amateur. This is no huge problem though, since many people prefer a few drinks before the action is about to begin. The loaded amateur, however, will turn the whole thing into a circus. If he does not pass out on the street he will later have to puke somewhere. Probably on an oncoming police car. If he avoids this, he will - when things are about to go just fine - come back to his so-called 'senses' and run around screaming about cops, jail and what his damn mother will say about him committing such a horrible thing. 4) Guns and amateurs will not mix very good. The amateur, who probably have not even seen a piece, will be so thrilled that he will do anything to get a chance to use it. This is naturally dangerous. If the work must be done in the dark, there is a very big chance that the nervous amateur will shoot you by mistake. If some unlucky fella decides to interfere with your work I bet you $200 that he will die in less than one second. Wow, here we go: Bring out the red carpet and take me to the magic capsule at death row! Give an amateur a gun and you will soon hope that he will shoot himself by mistake. The odds are high. But not high enough, so kill him yourself if it turns out to be necessary. 5) Amateurs will suffer from extreme paranoia. Since I do not want to annoy the establishment too much, I will say that paranoia sure is a fine habit that all men of respect ought to have - to a certain extent. It is not considered cool when the amateur calls you at seven in the morning wondering if 'you have heard anything from the police?' This will happen after every operation, even those that only included shop-lifting paper napkins at Burger King the night before. 6) Thanks to divine miracles you might perhaps manage to finish the business even with the amateur hanging around. However, the saga will by no chance end at that stage. While you chill out and make a few necessary calls, the amateur will: a) Break down and tell his friends/parents/wife. b) Believe he's the incarnation of Bugsy and happily tell his friends/neighbors/wife how cool he is. c) Write some goddamn t-file about it all, which will sooner or later get in the wrong hands. I need not go into detail about how the amateur will act if he is interrogated. Mentioning the concept 'oral diarrhea' will probably be enough. That is it. After this informative file I suppose that all of your friends will look like amateurs in your newly opened eyes. That is the point. Always work alone. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ... utilitarism, en teleologisk teori, tar ingen pa allvar. Try joy. Nice try. Try this: HTTP://WWW.LYSATOR.LIU.SE/~CHIEF \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ We never leave a trace, nor forget a face. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #269 Underground eXperts United 1995 uXu #269 Call DESTINY STONE II -> +61-924-62553 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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