Digital Underground - uXu - Underground eXperts United #uxu-383

### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ## # ## #### ## ## #### # # #### ####### #### ## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ## # ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### ####### [ The Book ] [ By Joseph ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ The Book by Joseph Happiness, Mr. J. thought, was to produce stuff like this. Nothing compares to that feeling you experience as you have finished yet another perfect sample of the product. In front of himself he had a table. A belt conveyor on his right side supplied him with part one of the product. Part two came on his left. He just had to put the two pieces together. Even though the process was quite simple, it was still a form of traditional craftsmanship, according to Mr. J. It takes a certain skill to fit the two pieces together, so that the joint became invisible and the surface completely smooth. On the wall on his left, there was a big hole. When he was finished with yet another product, he simply dropped the sample into it. He had never dared to look into the hole. But he assumed that it was just a long dark tube down to the packing department, or something. His friends found his work boring and thought that he ought to find a more qualified kind of work, where he could develop himself as a person. Bah! They had no idea on how he had developed during the forty years he had been working at the factory. All these years, all these finished products. Had he not used his brain a lot? Had he not come up with clever solutions to complicated problems during his working hours? He smiled as he recalled his solution to the problem with the national economy. He had read about it in the papers and thought about it while working. It was so simple! Child's play - for him. He could not understand why it was such a fuss about it. He had collected all his solutions to various problems in a book he kept at home. Two-hundred pages - forty years of hard work and clever thinking. Needless to say, Mr. J. was mighty proud over himself. A whistle blew. The working day was over. Mr. J. pushed the stop button and started to collect his personal belongings. He did not notice that a man and a woman observed him. "He has been working here for how long did you say?" said the man, who happened to be the managing director. "Forty years according to the record," said the woman, who was his secretary. "And he has been sitting by the Hole all these years?" "Yes. I guess someone made a mistake. Well, he has never complained. In fact, he has been very pleased with his work." "Pleased with his work? Who cares? You are fully aware of the purpose with that kind of work?" "Well, uh, yes..." "And now, one day before this man retires, you care to inform me about this fact: that he has been sitting by the Hole, for forty damn years?" "Well, uh, yes..." "Incompetent fool!" With a face blushing in anger, the managing director turned around and made his way to his office to calm down. When he slammed his door shut, Mr. J. looked up. He felt quite surprised. No one was ever angry in this factory - no one slammed doors. He shook his head and went home. On the dinner table in his kitchen, was the Book. It was like the bible for him. His hand touched the cover, his fingers felt the soft leather cover. He had never loved anything as much as he loved this book. It was everything to him, his whole existence. The Book kept him alive. Without it, he would probably die. Every global problem he had solved was to be found within those two covers. When Mr. J. woke up the next morning, he felt a bit sad; this would be his last day at work. He was so grateful for all the years of happiness that the company had given him. But he did not know how to properly thank them. But he got a wonderful idea as he brushed his teeth: he would donate his book to the company! It would probably make them incredible rich. There were at least a hundred patents, and billions of dollars to get from the ideas presented in it. After everything they had done for him, they deserved it. The whistle blew and Mr. J. pushed the start button. He had never been late for work, and this day was no exception. No matter how ill he had been, he had always attended his work - Mr. J. found his work important. He had the Book with him, neatly wrapped in a green paper that he had saved from last Christmas. He was going to give it to the company as the whistle blew for the last time. The phone rang in the managing director's office. "Yes?" It was the secretary: "I just wanted to know if you have the time to hand over the golden watch to Mr. J. with me, before we close down for the day." "What time is it?" "Quarter to five. We must do it before five." "I'll be right down." "Another thing..." "What?" "Please don't mention anything about the Hole, will you? I mean, he has been working there for so long, and, well, I know the Hole was only meant as a 'last resort' for employees that we could not fire, and it was a mistake to place him there, but he has really enjoyed his 'work' and it would be..." "For heaven's sake, I'm not stupid!" Mr. J. held the wrapped book in his hands and pressed it against his chest. He dared not hand over it himself. He was afraid that they would think he was insane. He had tears in his eyes as he sent it down the hole to the packing department. "I bet they'll be rather surprised down there," he thought. "Hello there, Mr. J.!" someone said. Mr. J. turned around. It was the managing director and his secretary. "Oh, hello!" "You see, we thought that we would honor your hard and long work at this factory by giving you this golden watch." said the director and snapped his fingers. The secretary handed over the watch. Mr. J. examined the shiny piece of metal. What a beautiful clock! They talked for a while about what Mr. J. would do after his retirement, about his house, car and garden. Nothing special, just the kind of things people talk about when they say goodbye to someone who has faithfully served them for forty years. After a while, the managing director clearly showed that he wanted to do something else. They were about to shake hands and leave each other forever, when Mr. J. suddenly remembered his book. "You see, I have a present for you too..." he said. "Really? How nice. What?" "Well, I don't wanna boast, but I think it will be of great importance for this company. We're talking big bucks, so to say." Suddenly, the managing director became very interested in what Mr. J had to offer. "We would gladly accept such a gift, of course!" "Ah, but you see, I didn't dare to hand it over myself..." "Don't worry. We won't bite you!" "... so I sent it down to the packing department." "You sent it down to... 'the packing department'? Idiot!" The managing director walked away. Mr. J. turned to the secretary. None of them understood anything. The secretary did not understand the simple solution to the energy problems, the clever solution to the economy problems or the secret behind cold fusion. Mr. J. did not understand why the managing director had called him an idiot, and thus neither that his book had been donated to the furnace instead of humanity. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #383 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #383 Call CYBERPUNK SYSTEM -> +1-316-942-0064 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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