Digital Underground - uXu - Underground eXperts United #uxu-408

### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ## ## ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### ####### [ Pills ] [ By The GNN ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Even though all technology needed is available, modern science has yet not been able to reduce 'emotions' to physical states in the brain with the clarity and precision needed for proving their objective existence. Due to this, we have no clear definition of the phenomenon 'emotions' and ought therefore (in accordance with the scientific method) conclude that they do not exist. This conclusion, however, does not entail a demand for apathy. Thanks to the latest research by the pioneer of medical chemistry at the uXu lab, we are proud to present to you the final solution: < P I L L S > invented and abused by The GNN, M.D. university of Dual Crew-Shining and uXu <The Aware Pill> Put this wonderful piece of chemistry into your body and you will soon fully grasp the Cartesian meaning of cogito ergo sum. Yes, forget the hard work of filling your tabula rasa with meaningless experiences just for the sake of understanding the notion of 'I'. This pill will get you down to business of seeing yourself as a separate part of the world. <The Love Pill> For economical and social purposes it is often necessary to engage in certain interpersonal relations of the monogamous form. With the help of this wonderful drug, you need not waste expensive time tracking down that particular person your selfish genes finds acceptable as a reproduction partner. Consume the Love Pill with a friend, and all your problems on this matter will be solved. <The Sex Pill> What can be more revolting than using the sewer system of your body for gruesome physical activity with your equally filthy partner? (Rhetorical question, no answer expected.) Nothing. But with together with this pill, you will actually experience this dirty activity as 'wonderful' - believe it or not! <The Anti-Love Pill> For economical and social purposes it is often necessary to stall certain interpersonal relations of the monogamous form. Forget anxiety, depression and the seemingly endless fights through the night. With this pill, you and the devil reincarnated you have married can break up without actually speaking to each other. <The Work Pill> The industrial revolution left mankind with quite a bunch of tiresome, barbarous, pointless and generally quite boring occupations. But now! Forget self-deception! Forget alienation! Just eat this little product, and work will never be the same again. In no time, empty sentences like 'I love my job', 'I have great workmates' and 'I really feel that I am doing something important' will flood out of your mouth whenever someone dares to question your socially accepted waste of life. <The Creativity Pill> This magic portion will give you all the inspiration you need to create works of art. Forget sleepless nights trying to come up with a good short story, screenplay, novel, tune, symphony, painting, poem, whatever. Just consume this little medication and experience how knowledge, wit and inspiration crashes into your empty mind. This is probably the most popular pill of them all, believe me. I am on it right now. <The Fun Pill> Sometimes, we all need to let loose of our primitive feelings down at some bar or discotheque. Unfortunately, this is virtually impossible due to our inability to clearly define what this thing called 'fun' is. But with this you-know-what, it is not impossible anymore! (Please note: this pill was formerly known as d-lysergic acid N,N-diethyl amide; United States Patent Office, no. 2,736,728; patented February 1956; patent owned by The Albert Hoffman Foundation.) <The Final Pill> For economical, social and genetical purposes it is sooner or later necessary to put an end to all of your problems. Get ready for the final ride! Throw this little thing down your throat, wait a couple of minutes, and suddenly - like magic - it is all over! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #408 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #408 remember to brush your teeth ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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