Digital Underground - uXu - Underground eXperts United #uxu-451

### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### #### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### ###### [ The Mystery Of The Dead Fish ] [ By The GNN ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ THE MYSTERY OF THE DEAD FISH by THE GNN/DCS/uXu King Khung Kong IV suddenly entered the chamber and the three scientists ended their conversation and fell flat to the marmoreal floor. Down there they stayed put for a minute or so, paying their respects, while King Khung Kong made himself comfortable in the throne. The scientists, appropriately dressed in the latest fashion of the dark ages - black robes, long beard - slowly got up from the cold floor. "You are members of the Royal Society," said the King. "Thus, you are the greatest scientists of our country. I have invited you to my castle as I need your help. Nature conceals its inner truth behind riddles and enigmas. I want answers. I want to know why water boils at a much lower temperature at the top of a mountain, I want to know why fire seizes to be if it is mixed with water, I want to know why the stars appear to be moving in concentric circles (Ptolemy merely stated matters of fact, no explanations, lazy bastard)." The scientists gladly explained. It did not take long. "Water boils at lower temperature at a mountain top because God has decided it to be so. Amen." "My dear colleague is an idiot, and rather unscientific too. Water boils at a lower temperature because water is more sensitive to fire at a mountain top due to the fact that it has there lost connection with Earth (according to the physics of the great, great Aristotle)." "After this unintelligent guessing game, it is time for me to reveal the truth. Water boils at a much lower temperature at a mountain top because the pressure of the aether is lower there." The king seemed perplexed. The three men of knowledge solely shared opinions on which clothes to wear and that a long beard was a necessary feature of a man of knowledge. "Well, eh, that was three completely different answers. Which one of you am I to trust?" he asked. This was the only question to which the scientists gave a corresponding answer. In one voice, they declared: "You shall trust the answer you find most believable. You shall trust the answer that is coherent, well-founded and based upon true scientific knowledge. Now, regarding fire and water..." "Never mind," interrupted the King and continued after a rhetorical pause, "Now... I want to know the solution to the greatest enigma of them all: why does a dead fish weigh more than a living one?" Painful silence. "You do not know? Well, fear not. No one else knows either", said King Khung Kong IV. "This is a problem for future generations to solve I guess." And then, without knowing about it, the King deeply insulted the scientists: "Even science has certain limits, yes?" One of the scientists cleared his throat, and explained that "Hypotheses are like nets, you have to cast to catch. Even though we yet do not know the accurate explanation to this special inquiry, we are free to speculate, whereas speculation will - sooner or later - capture the correct answer and lead to progress." The King nodded and put a finger on his cheek, signalling that he was interested in hearing their three hypotheses on this matter. "A dead fish weighs more than a living one because God has decided it to be so. Amen, hallelujah!" chanted the first. "Damn religious mumbo-jumbo...", mumbled the second scientist before he continued, "A dead fish weighs than a living one because it is dead and needs to be buried in Earth; therefore, it gains extra weight so it will sink to the bottom of the sea and enter Earth (according to the physics of the great, great, great Aristotle)." The third and final scientist sighed. "Whatever. The truth is that a dead fish weighs more than a living one... uhm... probably because the body decomposes. You see, when a body decompose, it requires extra material from the ether, tiny organisms to take care of the process." The conversation was over. The King rose from his throne. The scientist threw themselves to the floor. The King informed them that he was now much wiser than before. He was deeply satisfied with their chat, as he had finally understood the real point of ancient and modern science. (He emphasized 'real'.) But before he exited the room, he revealed a secret: he knew the answer to the latest question, that is, why a dead fish weighs more than a living one. And the answer was rather simple too, the King assured them. The three scientists on the floor humbly requested to know what obvious and true hypotheses they had shamefully overlooked. "It does not," said King Khung Kong IV and left. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #451 Underground eXperts United 1998 uXu #451 subscribe@uxu.org - notify@uxu.org - info@uxu.org - submission@uxu.org ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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