Digital Underground - uXu - Underground eXperts United #uxu-595

### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### ####### [ Top 10: Why Life Is Like A Bed Of Roses ] [ By DIzzIE ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ TOP 10 REASONS WHY LIFE IS LIKE A BED OF ROSES by: DIzzIE 2001 1) Lots of people are allergic to roses, leading to severe sneezing, teary eyes, runny noses, and in some more serious cases, prolonged exposure can result in death. 2) A rose has many thorns. Hence, a bed of roses has many many thorns. Unlike a bed of nails, the thorns are not distributed in a pattern so that you will feel no pain when you lay down on it, no no: a bed of roses has sporadically random thorns and hence when you lie down or even try to pick one up, you will always get pricked, and usually start bleeding. In more serious cases, the initial bleeding can expose you to more severe deceases, and once again this may result in death or to a lesser extent, possible amputation of the infected area (usually being the finger(s)) 3) While the roses may look quite beautiful and even exquisite at first, they very soon begin to rot, loose their vibrant colors, as well as their intoxicating fragrance, and hence they become dried up brown looking pieces of shit that stink. 4) Roses are constantly being rooted from their home (the ground), and are either being taken to stores and are being sold (hence they are basically slaves), or they are taken home, separated from the other roses, or are kept in small bushels, but are still separated from all the other roses in the original bed, and are put in a small vase, where they are usually kept in water, not in soil as that is their natural habitat, and because we are talking about a bed of roses, not a bed of water lilies (which roses are not of course) the lifespan of the rose is drastically shortened. 5) A bed of roses has no purpose other than to serve higher beings. They exist, and are allowed to exist, because they produce gas(ses) that we need to survive. They are also pretty to look at. As soon as they loose those two qualities, or are replaced by more efficient ways to produce the two qualities, the bed of roses will quickly be annihilated. 6) While at first glance, a bed of roses may look pretty, a closer examination will reveal that many roses have a wide assortment of diseases that make their leaves shrivel and die, and the diseases spread to other roses... and soon the whole bed is a Petri dish for various bacterial cultures. 7) When you bend down to snort a rose, you may notice that there are ants crawling all over the stem and are rapidly crawling up your nose as you sniff. You may also notice that there are bees hiding in the roses. But of course, you notice that after the bees have already stung you. This may once again, in severe allergic occurrences, cause death. 8) In order for the roses to be planted where they were, other, less attractive (but perhaps more useful) plants had to be cleared out of the rose bed zone and either transported to another location, or more likely, they were simply tossed into the trashcan or the compost heap, all to make room for the bourgeoisie roses. 9) What where the aforementioned bees doing hiding in the roses in the first place? They were robbing the roses. Stealing the sweet nectar. Hence, roses are constantly being robbed of what they produce by the droid bees, who are, in turn, only serving the bee queen. Hence, the bee queen rules over all. 10) Roses are probably the most exploited flower ever. They are constantly being referenced to in poems, novels, etc... They are displayed on wall paper, on clothing, on shower curtains, on table clothes, on furniture, on advertisements, etc... Never have the roses consented to this exploitation, nor have they ever received any retribution, neither in the form of monetary compensation, nor in any other form. email me for more of my files or to talk about anything: xcon0@yahoo.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #595 Underground eXperts United 2002 uXu #595 The uXu FAQ - http://www.uXu.org/faq.htm ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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