Rocky Horror Picture Show

TALKBACKREPLIKERNA TILL ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW SCIENCE FICTION: LIPS: And he told us where we stand... - On our feet LIPS: Claude Rains was the Invisible Man... - Who's Claude Rains? LIPS: They got caught in a cellulold jam... - Yeah Jam! LIPS: It came from... - Where LIPS: Outer space... - Thank you LIPS: I saw that Leo G. Carrol... - Was fucking a barrel LIPS: When Tarantula took the hills... - Lick it! LIPS: And I really got hot when I saw... - Janet's twat LIPS: That spits poison and kills... - Yeah, kills LIPS: But when worlds collide... -Boom LIPS: I'm gonna give ya... - Some joints and some pills LIPS: Like a... - Like what LIPS: In the back row... - Fuck the back row CHURCH SCENE: RALPH: Betty's gonna throw the bouquet... - Hey Janet,do you have syph? RALPH: Hey, big fellow... - How would you know? RALPH: See ya, Brad... - See ya sucker RALPH: Come on Betty, hop in... - Think about it asshole...Wait til tonight, she got hers, now he'll get his JANET: Now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt... - Hapshit... BRAD: Ralph's a lucky guy... - No he's not. She's got syph. WOMAN: I always cry at weddings... - So do I, honey BRAD: Betty's a wonderful little cook.. - She's the hottest baked potato in Denton...yeah Denton! The home of happiness. BRAD: A promotion in a year or two... - If he doesn't get busted first BRAD: Hey Janet... - Sit on my face and wiggle... BRAD: I've got something to say... - Say it BRAD: I really love the... - Starts with an "S". Sku..Sku..Sku..Sku.. BRAD: Skillful way... - What a fuckin' genius BRAD: You beat the other girls... - With whips and chains BRAD: To the bridal bouquet... - And that too BRAD: There's three ways that love can grow... - Sex, drugs and rock and roll BRAD: That's... -Gay, straight and mediocre BRAD: Oh J-A-N-E-T... - I want a blow JANET: I'm so glad that you... - Fuck Mom and you blow Dad JANET: Oh, Brad... - Oh, shit JANET: I'm mad... - Oh, shit BRAD: Made me... - Piss in my pants and then panic JANET: Oh, Brad... - You fag...I love you. CRIMINOLOGIST'S OFFICE: CRIM: I would like... - You would, would you? CRIM: If I may... - You may CRIM: To take you... - Where? CRIM: On a strange journey... - How strange was it? It was so strange they made a movie about it; not the book, the movie. CRIM: It was a fairly ordinary night... - Ordinary? CRIM: When Brad Majors... - Asshole CRIM: And his Fiancee... - Slut CRIM: Janet Weiss - Veisss! CRIM: Two young healthy kids... - Healthy? CRIM: Now friend to both of them... - Is it true that you're constipated? CRIM: There were dark storm clouds... - Describe your balls. CRIM: They were driving... - Is it true you're also gay? CRIM: Badly in need of some air... - So's your fuckin' neck CRIM: Normal kids - Normal? CRIM: Spoil the events of the evening... - Certainly not CRIM: On a night out... - Come a little bit closer, Chuckie CRIM: They were going to remember.. - For how long? CRIM: A very long time... - What a fuckin' drip CAR SCENE: NIXON: I have never been a quitter... - Bullshit NIXON: To every instinct in my body - You call that a body? NIXON: But as president... - You call that a president? NIXON: The Interest of America first... - What does America need, Dick? NIXON: Needs a full-time President... - What else? BRAD: To that type... - Yeah! That type! JANET: What's the matter Brad? - Make a sound like a cow? BRAD: A few miles back... - Asshole BRAD: Just have to turn back... - Look out! JANET: What was the bang? - A gang bang BRAD: That spare tire fixed... - Asshole JANET: In the middle of nowhere... - What's white and sells hamburgers? JANET: I'm coming with you... - That'll be a first JANET: Might be a beautiful woman... - He is! JANET: Never come back again... - You should be so lucky! JANET: Burning bright... - What's up your ass? JANET: There's a guiding star... - That must hurt CRIMINOLOGIST'S OFFICE: CRIM: That their plight required... - Are you sure? CRIM: Or had they? - Nyah-ha-ha CASTLE: BRAD: Hi, my name is Brad Majors... - Asshole BRAD: My fiancee, Janet Weiss... - Veiss!! BRAD: You have a phone we might use... - Look between Janet's legs JANET: Yes, it's raining - No shit, Sherlock - are you an asshole, Brad? BRAD: Yes... - Are you on drugs, Riff? RIFF: Perhaps you better both... - Get lost RIFF: Come inside... - I don't care where you come, as long as you clean it up. BRAD: Hunting lodge for rich weirdos... - Yeah, rich weirdos...Hey Riff, which way? RIFF: This way... - Follow the Bouncing Thumb JANET: Are you having a party? - No, it's my sister's Bas Mitzvah RIFF: It's one of the masters affairs - Which one? RIFF: I've got to... - Smoke a bowl RIFF: I remember doing the Time Warp... - 1, 2 MAGENTA: Into the time slip... - Work that bird JANET: Say something... - Say something stupid BRAD: How to do the Madison... - I do the rock myself, I do the swim BRAD: In a bit of a hurry... - Left JANET: Right - Left BRAD: We don't want to be any worry - (simultaneously) We both want to fuck Tim Curry FRANK: Stay for the night... - Night! FRANK: Maybe a bite... - Bite FRANK: My favorite obsession... - Sex FRANK: I've been making a man... - You call that a man FRANK: Good for relieving my... - Sexual FRANK: So... - What FRANK: Come up to the lab... - And fuck me on the stab FRANK: With antici... - Say it, Consta... FRANK: So I'll remove... - Your clothes. But what about those nasty symptoms? COLUMBIA: Too nice a job to rush... - Yeah, rush! BRAD: My name is Brad Majors... - Asshole BRAD: Janet Weiss... - Veiss...Hey Brad, how do you spell urinate? COLUMBIA: Right arm for the privilege... - Or their left tit. MAGENTA: The master does not like to be kept waiting. - What do you do to an uncomfortable cock? (pause) Drop it! Thank you! RIFF: We are simply his... - Slaves LABORATORY SCENE: FRANK: Magenta... - Where do you get your pot? FRANK: Go and assist... - Woof woof BRAD: Brad Majors... - Asshole BRAD: My fiancee, Janet Veiss... - Weiss! BRAD: Weiss... - Frank, do you speak French? FRANK: It'll make you feel less... - Naked... FRANK: Offer them... - Horse brutality BRAD: Ungrateful! - Superman! FRANK: Perfect specimen of manhood, so... - Big FRANK: Proud of him Janet... - Hey Janet, are you a slut? RIFF: Merely await your word... - (Pause) - Hey Frank, when's the orgy? FRANK: An accident to make it happen... - A what? FRANK: That elusive ingredient... - Who‚s your favorite character on Star Trek ? FRANK: Breath of life... - Are you going to fuck everyone in the audience tonight? FRANK: Yes... - Do you know about gay sex? FRANK: I have that knowledge... - What do you hold under your arm? FRANK: I hold the secret... - To life? FRANK: To life... - Itself? FRANK: Destined to be... - Fucked! FRANK: OK? - Hey Frank, how do you kill roaches? FRANK: Do better than that... - Why don‚t you ask Brad and Janet? FRANK: What do you think of him? - Lie, Janet JANET: With too many muscles... - Just one big one FRANK: Make his glisten... - What's your favorite toothpaste? FRANK: Snatch, clean and jerk.. - Off FRANK: One from the vaults... - A greaser from the freezer, a bat out of hell FRANK: Oh Baby! - I'm upset FRANK: It was a mercy killing... - Mercy, mercy, mercy FRANK: Make me... - Ooh! Dance with a midget. FRANK: Take Charles Atlas by the... - Balls FRANK: In just seven days... - That's a week FRANK: Just Dynamic Tension... - Sing it bitch CRIMINOLOGIST'S OFFICE: CRIM: Life is an illusion... - Like your neck CRIM: Figment of our imagination... - Like your neck CRIM: Somber Bridal... - Sweeeeet! CRIM: A feeling which... - Greeeew! Unlike your neck. JANET'S BEDROOM: JANET: Come in... - And out and in again FRANK: Why, nothing... - Yet! FRANK: All bad, is it... - It isn't all Brad either FRANK: Not all spent yet... - For a nickel I will FRANK: Cross my heart and hope to die... - Stick a Dildoe in my eye BRAD'S BEDROOM: BRAD: What have you done with Janet? - Fucked the shit out of her BRAD: Never, Never... - Never, Never BRAD: I thought it was the real thing... - It is! FRANK: Giving yourself over to pleasure... - It is in New Jersey FRANK: Coming! - So is Brad! LABORATORY: JANET: Oh, Brad... - Oh, Janet JANET: Brad, my darling - Janet, my fish JANET: How could I have done this to you... - It was easy. But it would have been easier without the pantyhose JANET: It only we hadn't made this journey... - But you did JANET: If only the car hadn't broken down... - But it did JANET: If only we were amongst friends... - But you aren't JANET: Or same persons... - Two out of three ain't bad ROCKY: (Crying) - Leave him alone, he's monsterbating JANET: Did they do this to you... - They sure did! Those snivelling shits JANET: Dress your wounds... - And undress mine JANET: Baby there... - That's no baby Janet. 1, 2, 3, Hey Janet, you wanna fuck? CRIMINOLOGIST'S OFFICE: CRIM: Mental state... - And you can only read about it, Shitlips CRIM: A highly and irrational... - Mouthwash CRIM: Janet was indeed... - A nymphomaniac LABORATORY: JANET: I was feeling done in... - And pushed up JANET: Couln't win - Like the mets JANET: I only ever kissed before... - What a crock of shit JANET: I thought there's no use getting... - Laid JANET: And seat wetting... - Yeah! Wet seats! JANET: And I want more... - More, more, more JANET: And rub you down... - Down, down, down RIFF: Master, we have a visitor... - What does Captain Kirk say to his Chief Egineer? BRAD: Happens to be a frind of mine... - What's your favorite fruit drink? FRANK: You came here on... - A porpoise! BRAD: I was feeling... - A lie RIFF: The intruder has entered the building, master... - Where could he be? FRANK: In the Zen Room! - Not the Zen Room! FRANK: In person... - Oh, no, not the Triple Contact Electro Magnet SCOTT: Frank N Further... - Mit Kraut! SCOTT: We meet at last... - No, meet at first SCOTT: Brad, what are you doing here? - Oh, just fucking around FRANK: What Brad Majors is doing here... - Getting good head FRANK: I know Brad is... - You promised you wouldn't tell SCOTT: To find Eddie... - Sweatty! FRANK: What do you know of Eddie, Dr.Scott? - Get concerted SCOTT: Eddie happens to be... - My dinner! MAGENTA: Master, dinner is prepared... - And we helped! What do you think of oral sex? FRANK: Formal dress is to be optional... - Toga! Toga! Toga! DINNER TABLE: FRANK: A toast... - To cannibalism FRANK: Happy birthday to you... - Woo! FRANK: Shall we? - Hey Riff, deal me a slice FRANK: Another slice, anyone? - And you took the food right out of my mouth, oh it must have been while you were chewing me . FRANK: Dr.Scott... - Janet , Brad, Rocky, uhhh! SCOTT: From the day he was born... - Not the night, but the day SCOTT: He was trouble.. - Not monopoly, but trouble SCOTT: He was the thorn... - Not the rose, but the thorn SCOTT: In his Mother's side... - Not the back, but the side SCOTT: She tried in vain... - Not the artery, but the vein SCOTT: Nothing but shame... -Shame, shame, shame SCOTT: He left home the day she died... - It's Rockin' Scott CRIM: Low down cheap little punk... - Yeah, punk! SCOTT: But he must have been drawn... - Shoo-Bop, Shoo-Bop, Bop SCOTT: In a note which reads... - What's it say, what's it say? LABORATORY: BRAD: You mean... - A vibrator CRIM: And then she cried out... - More! More! More! JANET: You're a hot dog! - Who's Tim Curry? COLUMBIA: I loved you... - What did you say? FRANK: Not easy having a good time... - Try Disneyworld FRANK: And you shall receive it in abundance... - What tastes good on cornflakes? CRIMINOLOGIST'S OFFICE: CRIM: Brand and Janet had both tasted... -Frank's cock CRIM: Forbidden fruit... - Yeah! Frank's cock! CRIM: Of little morals... - Yeah! Little morals! CRIM: And some persuasion... - Yeah! Persuasion! CRIM: And what of the Floor Show... - Yeah! Floor Show CRIM: What indeed... - Where do you masturbate? CRIM: In an empty house... - When do you masturbate? CRIM: In the middle of the night... - The rates are cheaper CRIM: Crazed imagination - Yeah! Drabolical plan that seized Frank's crazed imagination. CRIM: That this was going to be... - A picnic? CRIM: No picnic... - Oh shit! And I brought the ants! FLOOR SHOW / FINALE: COLUMBIA: The only thing that gives me hope... - Is smoking dope COLUMBIA: My love of a certain dope... - Yeah! Dope! ROCKY: I am just seven hours old... - And can't dance ROCKY: The only thing I've come to trust... - Is Janet's bust ROCKY: Rush or lust... - Yeah! Rush! FRANK: Whatever happened to Eay Wray? - She went apeshit! FRANK: As it clung to her thigh... - What? The apeshit? FRANK: How I started to cry... - I'd cry too, if I had apeshit on my thigh FRANK: I wanted to be dressed just the same... - So did I, honey SCOTT: We've got to get... - The fuck SCOTT: My mind may snap... - Crackle and pop SCOTT: My life will be lived... - OK! America, show us your underalls JANET: God bless Lili St. Cyr... - Hey Frank, whose pool is it? FRANK: Wait... - Can you explain? FRANK: I can explain... - This better be good, you got shot the last time FRANK: I want to come again... - So does Brad! MAGENTA: How sentimental... - You bitch SCOTT: Society must be protected... - Fuck society! RIFF: Say goodbye to all of this... - Goodbye, to all of this RIFF: And Hello... - Hello RIFF: To oblivion... - Hi oblivion, how's the wife and kids? (pause) First one to scream gets it right between the tits MAGENTA: They liked you... - Get paranoid, Riff SCOTT: You did right... - Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch SCOTT: You OK by me... - Na Nu, Na Nu RIFF: I'm sorry about your... - Dinner? SCOTT: Eddie? - No, Penelope. What should they do? RIFF: Go... - When? RIFF: My most... - Ugly Q tip MAGENTA: Ah, sweet transexual... - You called MAGENTA: Land of night... - And high electric bills MAGENTA: To take that... - Start with an "S" Stu Stu